Amanda is a comedy writer. The articles she writes here are meant to be fun, only somewhat information and completely funny. As with anything in life, don't take them too seriously.

As a sales person, really the only customer feedback you need is more sales. And, while the customer is always right, it doesn’t hurt to know what they think of you. After all, the better the feedback, the more the referrals. The following are ways to keep the customers coming back for more.

1. Don’t say, “You are wasting my time.”

As much as you’d love to tell these indecisive time-suckers to get lost, the truth is, they are still a potential sale. Phrases like, “I need to consult my wife” or “let me think about it” should never stand in your way of giving them your full attention every time. Also, this probably goes without saying, but make sure the customers are out of ear shot when you tell your coworkers how you want the last two hours of your life back.

2. Don’t say, “It’s No Big Deal.”

There’s nothing worse than an angry customer. And if they aren’t already angry, the fastest way to get them there is by telling them whatever their issue is isn’t a big deal. If you can’t listen to them without rolling your eyes, keep some sunglasses in your desk drawer for occasions like these and tell customers they are prescription.

3. Don’t say, “You’re the first one to complain about this.”

Customers love to feel special, but they don’t like to feel that special. When it comes to complaints, they like to think they are the leader of a big club of people who have been wronged. Help them to feel as though they are giving you a unique complaint and doing you a favor by pointing it out. You could even use caring language like, “That’s very interesting. Please, tell me more about the situation. Don’t leave any detail out and no, I don’t mind if your kid screams and you slurp a mega-sized ice coffee while you’re telling me about this.”

4. Don’t Admit You Are An Idiot

Even if you are, don’t give the customers the satisfaction of agreeing with them. They already think they are right, so you don’t need to make it too easy for them. Even if you truly are daft and you made a pretty big mistake just tell them how you will fix it. Use words like “we” so they don’t think you are the only idiot salesperson. Otherwise, they might go to a new sales person next time.

5. Don’t Friend Them

Sure it’s great to have referrals, but the last thing you want is for them to see those #TBT photos of the days you used to get wasted in college or, for that matter, the fact that your profile picture is you holding an alligator from the time you took that tour of the everglades last year. While it’s cool to be friendly with them, you aren’t friends with them. You know, like 60% of the people you’ve friended on social media.

Being a salesperson is an extremely stressful job, but if you follow those five tips, you can make your job a little easier and keep complaints (and friend requests!) at bay.


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